Mike

My friend Mike is gone. He would have said, "That's all, folks", but that doesn't jive with my beliefs, so, as I told him when he was alive, "let's agree to disagree." Nonetheless, though he's alive in my heart and memory, there is a Mike-sized hole in my heart. He's one of that handful of people I met online through BookCrossing who I've become genuine friends with, sharing the joys, sorrows, laughter, and concerns of life. We met in person a couple of times, most notably when he came from Wales to Berlin to see us when my health allowed me to travel overseas again. We know each other's families, (though while he has met one of my children, I only know his via internet as well.) It's only been a short time, but I miss his wit, his wisdom, even his overabundance of posts on Facbook. Damn it, Mike! I'm tired of cancer taking people I love.

I am not alone in adjusting to the loss of this big-hearted man.  People around the world are adjusting to his absence; others he met online with whom he developed relationships. A group came together to shower Mike with love (and tidbits and treats to make his journey easier) after he announced his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. We've tried to help console each other, share memories, and of course support his beloved wife and son as they adjust to the new trajectory of their world. Donations to help  fight pancreatic cancer and support research have been made, trees planted in memory, even owls (a bird he admired) adopted in his name. Kiva and Deki have helped many people with loans made in Mike's honor. This is a man who continues to change the world and to to good, though he has popped off. Goodonya, Mike.

Over at BookCrossing, where we met, one of my closest friends and I came together and through our art tried to honor Mike (aka miketroll on some online sites). As many people are doing book releases in his memory, we created a book label in commemoration. The full color version is up in the BookCrossing Supply Store, two owl buddies, remembering Mike. We've also created a black and white version, for more limited budgets, at the grand cost of free, just like BookCrossing books are, when released. Feel free to download and use this label for releases, if you wish.

Art by Amy Francisconi and Amy Romanczuk (aka AFAR) honoring Mike Wiggett 

Mike, I really wish that we didn't need to do this. I'd much rather have you around. But, I truly believe that somewhere your soul is smiling at all the little things done to honor your time on Earth with us. I just wish we'd been allowed more of that precious commodity.

The world according to Mike

My friend Mike is amazing. I knew that before his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, but since then, I'm upping that amazing a couple of amps. He and Olive, and Ricardo, their son, all have a special place in my heart for allowing those of us who love him to travel this journey with him. (If I have forgotten to say so, thank you.) My own inclination when health problems come up, is to curl up within myself and hide. (The two notable exceptions to this were my mother's battle with breast cancer, where I found myself her spokesperson to keep in touch with what she lovingly called her "fans", and my own experiences with latex allergy and the resultant pulmonary problems, which I've tried to use as a teaching tool to increase awareness about this problem.)

A few friends who have not made the leap from LiveJournal or Dreamwidth to Facebook have written me for news of Mike. Today, yet another friend wrote, and I ran an idea by Mike. I asked, simply, if he would mind my reposting some of his health updates when he makes them on FB. It would be a way to pass the information without taxing his energy, which is a precious commodity these days. I'm posting Mike's response, edited only to remove the name of the latest person to write me. I will do my best to remember to repost, from here on out, but if I forget, nudge me and I'll zip over to his FB wall, brush aside the cricket posts, travel links, Humanism/Atheist or Organized Religion objections, and find the latest update.

And without further adieu, heeeerrrreeee's Mike!

Hi Czukie!

Feel free to forward/repost any of my FB posts! I keep meaning to e-mail (redacted) directly, but I only have her e-mail address on my laptop, not iPad, and to use the laptop I have to trek upstairs. I know that sounds dumb, but sometimes these days my body moves slower than my brain and I am becoming an even worse procrastinator. Anyway, if you speak to (redacted) first, give her my love, also from Olive.

I'm determined to make another LJ post soon. A lot of people ask me how I am. I appreciate their concern but it's burdensome to reply to everyone individually. Basically my health has stayed the same since May, nothing to report. No news is good news! If there is something to say, I'll let people know. Neither I nor my doctors can predict the path of this illness - it may strike suddenly, it may not. I'm not going to waste a second wondering about it. I just want to have fun!

XXX

Mike

Sent from my iPad

But I want to close with a recent post that may go down as one of my most treasured quotes from a treasured friend. It sparked a wonderful dialogue on FaceBook, and maybe it will here, too. (I've blocked out Mike's last name, because I neglected to ask him if I can post it, and this is a public blog. )

Thanks, my friend. Keep on keepin' on.

#mikeshares

Random Acts of Kindness blow me away: The Legend of #chuckformike

I have a friend who recently let it be known that he has acquired a rather significant tenant in his pancreas, who is not only a squatter there, but has staked claims elsewhere in his body. This is not Good News, but is being faced pragmatically, with humor, and with careful thought by Mike and his family.  Though he lives in Wales, and we've only seen each other in person a few times, Mike has been to Charleston, and by all appearances, loved the visit, even contemplated a return trip sometime.

Sitting at my computer an ocean away from my friend, I am reminded how nearly 5 years ago, I reached out to the same community through which Mike and I met, when my mother found herself host to the unwanted tenant of metastatic breast cancer.  She told me that she didn't mind dying; she'd lived a good life. Her big regret would be not being able to hear what people said about her at her funeral. I turned to the BookCrossing community,  and to friends and family.  In return, they flooded her with love. It meant a lot to her to know she'd touched so many lives. I looked down at my hands on the computer and knew that though I live an ocean away, maybe I can do something that makes Mike smile, or teases that fabulous brain of his. And so, I wrote him: "Mike, my friend, what are your favorite place memories from Charleston? Don't ask why. Just give me a few places.  PS Tell that tumor to go to hell. I'm mad at it."

He responded with some of his favorite memories, and then I told him my idea: to take a special tour of Mike's Charleston for him, and to send him pictures and videos along the way.

Mike, that big hearted man, recognized that he'd be helping me, while I'd be amusing him. "I'd love that!" he wrote. "Can we ride in one of those horse buggies?"

"You betcha!", I replied. "Anything goes as long as it doesn't involve a strip club or drugs". And with that, I was on a mission: to show Mike the town he visited and loved. He thought Facebook would be a good place for the pictures, though I've put some in a BookCrossing book I had which he'd started travelling. (Sacre Bleu, if anyone's interested. The pictures there are not ones that have appeared on FaceBook.) So, I've been documenting on FB with the hashtag #chuckformike and #miketravels. Mike has let me renew the pact I made with my mother, to face the days ahead with courage, caring, laughter and love. I normally devote my June to mitzvahs in her honor; now her memory is in good company with Mike.

Now, on to Random Acts of Kindness.  The other day, I went to the City Market to take pictures for Mike, and see about a carriage ride. As I got closer to the carriages, I thought about it: most of the fun for a local is seeing friends react to this beautiful city. Taking a carriage ride by myself, even with Mike in my mind, seemed like not as much fun, plus I couldn't be sure I'd hit a district he'd want to see. (For the uninitiated, the carriage tours are strictly regulated as to where they can go, how many can go to a certain area, etc. They're also regulated about temperatures and hydration for the horses and mules that pull the carriages. It's all pretty humane, for what it is.) Plus, my wallet was remarkably bare. I figured that I'd wait until my granddaughter was here at the end of the month, and get some footage then. But in the meantime, I had this idea that I'd document a carriage ride without actually going on one. First, I got a picture from the seat of a carriage of a horse named Montague, and of the poop catcher the horses are required to wear (though adventurous poop occasionally escapes the diaper, something with which any parent is familiar) 

Then I told the ladies who do the lottery for which area carriages can go about Mike, and one of them volunteered to show the sorter for tour-route selection, as long as I promised not to show her face in the picture. I'm pretty sure she rigged it though, because the ball she is holding up is for the prized tour of South of Broad and The Battery:

I continued taking photos and walking in the market, planning the route I'd take for the pseudo tour route. As I walked, I realized I didn't have a picture of a carriage. Montague was out on tour, so I stopped at Old South Carriage Company on Anson St. and explained the situation to the tour guide, and asked if he could take a picture of his horse from the carriage view as well (a la the Montague picture). He not only welcomed a photograph, but invited me aboard.

Then he asked, "You got a video on that thing (my phone)? And a few minutes to spare?" When I replied yes, he invited me on a private tour around the Market, just for Mike! Wowzer! So, meet tour guide Shawn, horse Freddy, and an extremely grateful czukie, on a private carriage tour, just for my friend Mike. To paraphrase and rephrase Tennessee Williams, I am often overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers. Blogger is having trouble uploading the video, so I will try an alternate route. It's a'coming, Mike, two items from your list: the Market and a carriage tour! (edited to add it is up on Facebook now, though my settings are for friends only, though I can change that if needed.)

Shawn did let me take one more picture, that of the markers used for escaped poop and piddle, dropped at the scene of the crime, and radioed into the persons with the worst job in the city: the horse brigade, who go out to clean up the waste. Wouldn't you just love to ride around scraping up excrement when it's 90+ degrees F?

What Shawn wouldn't do was take any gratuity, but I got him back. I left a tip with a co-worker and am wrote a 5 star review on Yelp. 

So Mike, know that not only your friends rooting for you, but strangers are, too. And you deserve it. Thank you, my friend, for travelling with me. Sit back and enjoy the ride!